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I just received an email asking me to volunteer my time. I didn’t want to do it.

It asked for an RSVP “Yes” if you were coming; all you have to do is click a “Yes” button. The request was sent to hundreds of people; easy to ignore.

But this email asked that you also RSVP “No” if you are NOT coming.
Why would they need that? Whoever didn’t reply “Yes” isn’t coming!

The trick is, people don’t want to disappoint.
An explicit “No” option makes it less likely you’ll ignore the request since you can easily just click the RSVP button instead. It’d be rude not to respond.

But now you’re in the position of actively saying “No“. And you don’t want to be the bearer of bad news.

I don’t have any studies at hand that back this up, but I’m guessing the tactic they used increased response rates and increased the number of people saying “Yes” who would have otherwise ignored it.

[ For the record, I clicked "No".
They sent me to a page asking for a donation. ]

People are motivated by both avoidance and approach of tasks. Avoidance is when you don’t want to do something, so you’re motivated to NOT do it. Approach is when you want to do something.

Well, use your avoidance mentality to your advantage! Once you decide you really don’t want to do something, you’ve got all the motivation you need to do your less important task. Your reluctance to start the most dreaded task reminds you of everything else you have to do.

“Hmm, I need to do that, but I’ve got all these other things I need to do. I’ll do them first.”

-Johnny Procrastinator

That’s why lists are important:

1. They give you something productive to do when you procrastinate
2. You get a sense of accomplishment when you check them off the list, adding fuel to your motivation

Another key to motivation is to make your goals public. It’s harder to procrastinate when you’re being held accountable.

I sometimes find I have a lot of things going on in my head. When I don’t want to do something, I suddenly become interested in everything. It’s hard to get started. Surfing the web and doodling take over. Taking a minute to meditate calms me down and then I break my goals down into shorter tasks and write them down. Once I’m calm and start that first simple task, getting focused is a lot easier.

As Leonardo da Vinci said, “It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.”

I hate that every night, we have to sleep. It seems like it wastes time yet it’s necessary to keep us mentally and physically healthy.

I saw this video on HealthNation.com about why our sleep is so important.

David Heinemeier from 37 Signals came up with a list of reasons why workaholics should be fired. Throwing hours at a project might get the job done faster…but at the cost of quality and irritating coworkers. So get some sleep!

Tomorrow marks the anniversary of Kathy Sierra’s last post on Creating Passionate Users.

In March 2007, Kathy was the recipient of death threats from a forum of misogynists who hated that Kathy was successful on the Web. When her home address was posted on a hate forum, she stopped blogging.

Though her blog is no longer updated, it remains online as it was a year ago. If you’re into web design, software development, or even customer service, you’ll benefit from Kathy’s wisdom in usability.

(You can also check out her series of Head First books from O’Reilly Media.)

I’m going to talk about a concept called Radical Honesty and how it compares with business ethics.

“Ethics” vs. Honesty
Perhaps ironically, ethics and honesty do not go hand-in-hand. We had a short seminar on business ethics at my workplace which in general, concluded with the message “don’t offend people”.

Do people have a right to NOT be offended? Of course not. But “having the right” to offend someone does not mean that it’s right to offend them. It’s usually better to refrain from telling someone how you really feel about them than risk them getting upset…or is it? We can all agree that certain off-color jokes are inappropriate in the office, but what about withholding information about how you feel about someone.
Is withholding information deceitful? Aren’t you withholding your true feelings just so they’ll like you? That’s not honest. It’s manipulation. And it’s certainly not a part of Radical Honesty.

Radical Honesty
Radical Honesty is a lifestyle. In order to live this lifestyle, you must tell people how you feel about them…whenever your feelings about them change…and you must tell them about everything they’ve done to change your feelings.

Suppose there is a husband and wife who are radically honest. If his wife ask him if she looks fat in those pants and he thinks that she does, then he says, “Yes, you do look fat in those pants.”
This sounds like a bad idea, doesn’t it? She’d understandably be upset. Everyone gets upset and that’s okay, because as long as she is reciprocally honest with him, “I resent you for tell me I look fat”, then tension can go away quickly.
Maybe she didn’t really to know if she looked fat, but she was fishing for compliments.
Then she might say, “I resent you for not complimenting me.” Now they’re really communicating. He doesn’t tell her enough that he appreciates her. Now they can improve their relationship.

Radical Honesty means that you release all of the tension you carry around in your relationships by releasing your anger you have about that person, and you listen to their resentments about you. You’re no longer walking on eggshells around that person. How could you be when everything has been laid on the table. You can start real communication between two people.

You might think this is a bad idea that can ruin relationships. Yes, it might. But maybe those are relationships that aren’t worth the constant maintenance and withholding. If being honest means you no longer like each other, then it’s not a relationship worth keeping.

Radical Honesty + Business
This sounds fine and dandy for relationships with friends and family, but what about your relationship with your coworkers. You could lose your job if you were honest! But if you have to lie to your boss and coworkers, certainly there’s a better job out there for you. Hell, you might get a promotion for showing you have confidence in yourself.

All the time, we lie to people so that we don’t offend them. Not only that, but we lie to ourselves about what we think. And that’s the worst part, because it allows us to become prejudice or on the other hand, to keep us walking on eggshells for the entire length of a relationship, like with your in-laws. Comedienne Alicia Dattner found out that a little honest help her let go of some preconceptions about a show she was about to do.

If you’ve ever read anything about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (a self-therapy type of thinking…not really a science), one thing you’ll see is that everyone is doing the best they can for themselves in their current situation. This alone might be a radical concept for some people. But if you can consider that, then we must accept that there is a reason behind someone else’s behavior towards you. It’s a cop out to say, “He’s just a jerk and we’ll never get along.” Radical Honesty forces you to find out the motives for somebody’s behavior. It gives you a place to understand why they act the way they do and why you interpret it as rude behavior. Just remember, being honest with someone sometimes comes off as being rude

What does this have do with business ethics? Once you’re honest with people, they can trust you. There will be real communication. That’s good for productivity, at least according to The Bader Group.

Does it work with customers? I worked on commission as an electronics salesman at a large retail chain several years ago. I certainly wouldn’t consider myself radically honest, however I didn’t bullshit customers. I tried to help them save their money, “Well, this model does the same thing as this one, but it’s a lot cheaper. This is a reputable brand and if you buy the extended warranty, you’re still saving money and can get a new one if it breaks.” In the short run, I lost commission. If I had stuck around that job longer, I think I would have found that it would have worked out well for me in the long run by creating customer satisfaction. Repeat business means more money.

The key to Radical Honesty is that you let all your anger and tension out immediately. Anger that we would normally keep inside and pretend it’s not there. That anger creates tension in our relationships with people. If your mom said something to you that hurt your feelings, pretending that it didn’t bother you because you didn’t want to hurt her feelings will add a bit of tension to your relationship. And as you repeat this withholding of anger over time, your relationship suffers. You can’t connect on a deeper level because part of your doesn’t trust her. Plus, you’ve filtered the truth because you don’t think she can handle it. Letting her know that you’re angry when you get angry, offending her, and then getting over it together ensures that you’re not holding any tension. If you tell someone when they’re being a jerk right up front and stay with them while they get mad and talk about it, you’ll both get over it together. Even more radical than that, the author says you should discuss about all the things that person has done to anger you throughout your entire relationship. Once you’ve both talked about all the things you’ve been hiding from each other and explained your feelings, there will be no more tension. How could there be? You’re not hiding anything. You’re not going to be going around holding that anger, trying to hide it from them anymore. The result is you’re just two human beings having a real honesty conversation. Probably for the first time in your life.

How It’s Worked for Me
This “releasing” your anger thing is the opposite of what I started doing years ago. I realized I had a short temper and would take it out physically on walls, pillows, objects that could be thrown, etc… All alone, of course. I didn’t want people to know I got that angry. I realized how silly it was. I just made a resolve to stop letting things get to me. To a certain extent, I’ve been able to do this. I realize that most people have good intentions and petty things do not get to me. However, I still get annoyed at times and instead of releasing that anger, I find myself thinking about it and thinking of good come-backs. Pretty lame, right! Radical Honesty is the opposite of this. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll tell everyone everything they’ve ever done to make me angry. But start being more honest when someone says does something you don’t like…and also when they do something that you do like.

The idea is freeing. If I don’t like you, I can honestly tell you where I think you should go. I don’t feel intimidated…after all, if I think you’re being overbearing, I’m won’t hide it. I’ll let you know that I resent your behavior.

Conclusion
This doesn’t quite mesh with creating a stable work environment. No, I do not recommend radical honesty if you’re afraid of losing your job. If you are a bigot or overly sexual, I wouldn’t recommend it because you will get fired. However, if you don’t think you’d get fired for being honest (you have an open-minded boss) or you don’t mind losing your job, then you’re situation will almost certainly improve because you’ll not only relieve that tension but you’ll might even get a raise if you come right out and say you deserve one. Or you boss or coworkers might stop doing things that are annoying or counterproductive. And if not, then ask yourself why you want to work there at all.

You might want to keep some things off topic. Religion and politics aren’t necessary to talk about. If you resent people who bring those topics up, let them know. Be nice about it! Being honest and having tact are two different things that can be done at the same time.

I have a few “Baby Geniuses” CD’s in my house. When children under 3 years old listen to classical music, they become smarter.
It’s called the Mozart Effect. It has been disproved. Music does NOT make children smarter.

However, LifeHack.org’s look at Music-vs-workflow mentions that Mozart has improved the test results of college students.

The article asks the question: Can music increase your productivity.
The conclusion of the article is that certain music can increase your energy, which can help you work faster. Keeps your mind from falling asleep.

Even more than that, music can change your mood. It can help you sleep. I can make your melancholy or happy. Maybe certain states of mind help your productivity.

Do you ever feel better when you dress up? I usually work harder when I’m wearing a tie. I feel like a professional. If you’ve read The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell, you’ll understand that your preconceived notions about things will affect how you think about things, what kind of mistakes you’ll make, how far you’ll push yourself. The self-fulfilling prophecy.

When I listen to classical music, I feel smarter. And just by feeling smarter — by thinking I’m smarter — I actually become smarter.

I wonder what else makes me think I’m smarter.

In order to get other people to care about what you’re talking about, you have to pitch your ideas to them on an emotional level. When creating a presentation, you can’t just throw out all of your statistics and data. Over the last 4 or 5 months, I’ve followed Garr Reynolds blog, Presentation Zen, where I’ve learned a lot of tips and tricks in creating effective presentations.

For my second presentation to my work group, one of the handful that will help me complete my second goal, many of the principles of good presentation design have been incorporated. I MAY videotape this presentation tomorrow. If I do, I’ll post the video here.

UPDATE!
I added sound to the presentation and uploaded it to Slideshare. It’s embedded right below!